It was 9.30pm, I just took a shower, and I was in the mood for a drink. "Pukka tea feels perfect!", I thought to myself. I quickly boiled some water, soaked the teabag, and as the first sip of piping hot tea entered my mouth, I suddenly realized that after the warm shower, I actually wanted something cold. I wasn't in the mood for hot tea. I decided that instead of dumping ice into it, I should cool it down naturally in the cold winter air to save energy and to prevent dilution. Sigh.. okay I guess I can wait.
So I placed it outdoors and set a timer for 15minutes. After 15mins, I rushed outside excited to get a sip of what I thought would be ice-cold tea. It was still warm. Disappointed, I put it back and waited another 20mins. By this time it was 10.10pm and a full 40 minutes had passed. I rushed outside again and excitedly took back my cup. It was nice and chilled - perfect! Or so I thought.
Again, I raised my mug to take a sip, when it suddenly hit me - I didn't want a cold drink anymore. After so much time elapsing, my body had readjusted to room temperature and I was actually slightly chilly. Dare I say it, I wanted something warm to drink. What an incredibly ludicrous moment.
It occurred to me that this is sometimes what it is like to navigate goals and life trajectory as a twenty-something year old. My ambition, hobbies, desires change very often, as I accumulate new experiences. and my neural pathways are still developing. In the words of Meg Jay in The Defining Decade, my brain is 'still wiring up'. Just as my desire for hot tea could change quickly, so does it feel so with life plans navigating our twenties.
The solution to this dysphoria, I think, is not to stop changing course, but to accelerate it. I need to be okay with changing my life path, in fact the faster the better because change=learning. After all, most people only find their path in their 30s or 40s ([[the step-ladder of life - a framework for life]]).